Wotcher Harry
by cheeseyfudge
Summary: Set during book four. Auror Tonks is assigned to body guard Harry as a new student at Hogwarts. Most def AU.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own the harry potter series nor do I own my own pants. The wife wears em.

Harry Potter is property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros.

Wotcher Harry!

Chapter one.

She did it! She passed the final exam of Auror training. Nymphadora Tonks was debating on what to do during the two week break she was given. **Hmmmm, lets see. I could go to the world cup, or I can get drunk and get a tattoo. Well screw the cup, I'll go next year. So it's off to the bar.**

-0-

The morning was brought forth with a bang. Well not quite a bang more like a crash and a loud utterance of the word "FUCK!" Tonks was experiencing the third worst hangover ever. The room was spinning. Tonks applied pressure with her hands to her head. "Remember the hangover spell! OWWW! Don't yell." She made her way to the kitchen where she kept a small store of potions for such emergencies. Contraceptive**, mmmmm no. Acne potion, mmmm no. Ahh! Hangover Potion.**

The potion bore a strong resemblance to a bloody mary, of course it could be the piece of celery in the glass. The room came to a halt and the little imp playing the kettle drum in her head stopped. For some odd reason her stomach itched. She lifted her Weird Sisters shirt and saw a small snitch flying around the area of her stomach near to her belly button. "Why did I get a snitch tattoo?" Her revelry was interrupted by a tapping at her window. She then noticed the minstery owl. She moved to open the window to let the owl in. It flew around her living room and dropped a letter from Amelia Bones the head of the department of Magical Law Enforcement and flew off. Tonks felt a small sense of dread that was overladen with a sense of elation. "My first assignment!" she opened the letter which said.

_Auror Tonks:_

_It is a matter of utmost importance that you appear at my office at noon today. This is a assignment that can't nor will be discussed in this letter. Sorry for interrupting your break which will be reinstated. Thank you._

_Amelia Bones._

Tonks was surprised by her first assignment. **This has got to be big. Okay, shower,dress,get to director Bones' office.**

-0-

The ministry was abuzz with activity. Tonks flashed her badge at the witch at the front desk. As she passed the desk she grabbed a copy of the Daily Prophet. The headline was one that brought shock to her eyes.

_**World cup attacked! Dark mark flies once again!**_

She read about how the biggest event in the wizarding world for this week was brought to a sudden halt when death eaters attacked. She then thought to her self as terrible a event that was she was kinda glad that she decided to skip that event. But her thoughts were halted when she approached the door of madam bones' office. Upon entering she was greeted by a witch with a monocle. "Ms. Tonks, I am sorry for having to cut your vacation short, but we need your very special skills. We need to amp up security for Harry Potter."

"Harry Potter?"

"Yes Harry Potter, He's going to have a busy year. This year Hogwarts is holding a Tri-Wizard tournament. So security is going to be tightened around the school because of the visiting schools." Tonks was dumbfounded because she was wondering just what this had to do with her first assignment.

"If you're wondering what this has to do with you. Well since you are a metamorph you should be able to watch him at all times. Have you ever heard of Cameron Crowe?"

"Who?"

"He's a muggle writer that wrote a article about high school life by acting like a teen and hanging out with the students. Even though he was about 20 something at the time, it got turned into a movie called Fast Times at Ridgemont High."

"With Sean Penn?"

"Exactly."

"He was soooo hot in that movie."

"Now getting off the subject of the movie. You'll be introduced to Harry Potter and you'll be posing as a transfer student."

"A transfer student?"

"How else will you be able to protect Mr. Potter during the year?"

"Won't it be a bit odd that I'm a new student hanging out with such a famous guy?"

"No not really. Mr. Potter doesn't let his fame go to his head and he always seems to befriend someone new."

"When do I start?"

"In about an hour. That's when he's scheduled to come to my office."

"I get to meet Harry Potter, omygod omygod!" Tonks said as she clapped her hands together like a small child.

"Now is there any doubt in your mind that I'd have picked anyone else for this assignment?"

"No not really."

-0-

Harry James Potter was freaked out. He had just come back to the Burrow after the disaster that was the Quiddatch World Cup. Several people were hurt and now he's been called to the ministry by someone called a auror. Harry did the thing that he hated more than most was to show his ignorance to the wizarding world. "What's a auror?"

"Kinda like the magical world's version of the bobbys." Said Bill Weasley.

"Oh ok. WAIT! I'm being pulled in by the cops. Am I going to be arrested?"

"No, I think that Madam Bones is going to talk to you about something."

"OooooooooooK." Harry just knew that this wasn't going to be a normal year for him. "Um Mr. Narrator guy? I haven't had a normal year for about 14 years and guess what I'M 14!!"

Excuse me, sorry let me move from digressing to the main subject.

Harry awoke the next day. After breakfast Mr. Weasley and Harry flooed to the ministry. Harry was amazed by the sheer size of the place. As he walked through the atrium, he noticed a fountain made up of like four statues. Something seemed off because, he knew that centaurs would not hold a wizard in such high regards. But oh well. He headed towards the lift. He looked up and noticed several paper airplanes. "Those are inter office memos. We used to use owls but that got a bit messy."

Harry turned a bit green. The doors opened. Harry was rushed through the hustle and bustle of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. He stopped in front of a door marked. Amelia Bones. Head Of Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Mr. Weasley told him. "This is about as far as I can go. You go on." Mr. Weasley said as he headed back to lift.

Harry knocked on the door and was admitted. He noticed two women. One was behind the desk, she seemed odd with a monocle but Harry had seen so much oddness in the past four years that something like that didn't faze him. The other woman seemed rather young to be there. Harry assumed that she was another witness to the carnage at the world cup.

"Mr. Potter I presume?" asked the lady behind the desk. After he nodded she went on. "I'm Amelia Bones. This is one of my Aurors, Nymphadora Tonks." Tonks smiled with a slight grimence at the mention of her first name.

"Pleased to meet you Harry."

"Umm likewise Nymphador.."

"Tonks! Just Tonks. Sorry I just hate that name."

"Sorry." Harry with downtrodden eyes.

Madam Bones spoke up again.

"Your here because death eater activity has picked up again. We are concerned for your safety. We are assigning a auror to help you during the year."

"Like a bodyguard?"

"Yes."

"Aren't they a bit old..." Harry was dumbstruck as he watched the woman setting next to him regress to a younger age. Her hair changed from pink to a deep raven color. Right before his eyes, she went from twenty something to right about his age.

"Does that answer your question?"

Author's note. If you guys like this little AU tale then I'll try to write more. It just popped into my head and I had to write it down. Please read and write a review iffing you like.

Erik


	2. Chapter 2

"You have a tattoo? Cool!" Said Harry as he watched the snitch fly around her stomach.

"I got it the night before. I think it was before I got tore up." Said Tonks as she walked with the boy wizard around Diagon Alley.

"Tore up?"

"Drunk."

"Oh."

Harry was amazed by the young auror. During the meeting in Madam Bones office, Harry was laughing at the faces that Tonks was making.

_Back in the office._

_"Ok Mr. Potter do you agree?" Madam Bones asked Harry. _

_"Yes." Harry said after several minutes of debating._

_"Well now we have to go through the particluers of this. First off what is your cover story." Said Madam Bones to Tonks._

_"My name is Liz Wurlitzer. I'm a transfer from Beauxbatons, I was pre sorted into Gryffindor. The reason I'm transferring to Hogwarts because my parents had work in France before I received my Hogwarts letter." Tonks said as she ticked off the points on her fingers._

_"There are other wizard schools?" Asked Harry._

_"Yes. In fact there are at least three in the UK and two in America."_

_"You know it's rough being the supposed savior of the Wizarding world and being completely in the dark on it."_

_"Most of the wizards are a bit clueless about stuff like this too." Said Tonks._

_"Ok enough of the digressing. Now here's the brass tacks Harry. For the rest of the summer, you and Tonks are going to spend every day together to help get Tonks' character down."_

_"Hey just think Harry. I'll look any way you want."_

_"Ummm" _

Tonks decided to change into her new look for the assignment. Her hair became shoulder length strawberry blonde. She kept her heart shaped face, but changed her eye color to a deep violet. The most noticeable change was that she shrank about four inches to a nice five foot height. "I say we get some new robes for the year since we're here and all?" They headed to Gringotts first to get some money. Tonks was shocked by the sheer amount of money in his vault. "I wouldn't even be able to make this in five life times, let alone one."

"It's nothing. I'd rather have my parents then all of this."

"Sorry Harry, I didn't mean to dredge up bad memories."

"It's ok."

They then decided to head to Madam Malkins for a some new robes.

Upon entering Madam Malkins, Harry and Tonks headed to the counter. "We need a new set of robes."

"We? Oh, Mr. Potter, who's your new friend?"

"This is Liz. "

"Hello." Said Tonks as she acted shy.

"I will be paying for both sets. My girl only deserves the best."

Tonks whispered in his ear. "Your girl? Nice touch." then a bit louder. "Thank you sweetie."

They left the robe shop, and headed to a public apparation spot. Harry tried to figure out how to explain Tonks.. er Liz to the Weasleys"

"Don't worry Harry. I'm going to be staying with my folks. They're just down the lane."

"Just remember to keep your appearance."

"Ok Harry." Tonks said as she left for her house.

Harry went up to the Burrow, trying to process the day's events.

-0-

Tonks decided to explain her assignment to her parents. Ted and Andromeda took the news well. "So Nymphie you're going to have to go back to school?"

"Yes mother. And please don't call me that."

"What shall I call you then. Foo Foo Mittens"

During a fit a giggles, Tonks managed to get out. "What?"

"Well you didn't want me to call you Nymphie."

"Ok ok I'll take it. Foo Foo Mittens?" Said Tonks in a gale of laughter.

Author's note. Thanks to Honks-FTW for getting me off of my lazy ass and try to get another chapter out. I promise once this writer's block fully leaves me I'll actually make a story out of this dreck. Thanks for reading.

Erik


End file.
